Talking About Suicide: Advice for Outdoor Leaders
Content warning: This article discusses suicide, suicide statistics and practical tips to support suicide prevention. It does not contain specific examples or stories of suicide.
If you were worried about the mental health of someone in your community or someone you know, would you know what to do? In this article Kelvyn James Founder of Wellness Walks gives their advice on what to do if you think someone is having suicidal thoughts.
This article is also available through ATE Reads, audio versions of selected content from All The Elements - a nonprofit network for those working on diversity in the UK outdoors.
Listen to Kelvyn read this article to you:
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The audio recording is made possible with support from co-operative tour operator HF Holidays, who have been providing walking and activity holidays since 1913.Find out more at hfholidays.co.uk.
Why talking about suicide matters…
In 2018 there were 6,859 preventable deaths in the UK & Republic of Ireland.
6,859. Let that sink in for a moment. 6,859.
By ‘preventable deaths’ I’m talking about suicide and for many, it’s not a comfortable conversation.
Let’s start by giving that number some context. In the same year there were 1,931 reported road deaths in the UK. We’ve legislated to make cars and drivers safer since 1935. Road deaths have been in near constant decline since 1960.
In 2019 the UK government launched the first ever national plan for suicide prevention. Figures for suicide are debatable due to reporting and cultural differences; but the UK Coroner reported figure has remained relatively steady since 2000. Every single day on average 18 people die by suicide. Suicide amongst the young is increasing.
What can we do about it as individuals and organisations?
I’ve been involved with First Aid for over two decades. I deliver First Aid courses to outdoor instructors, club members and volunteers. I was a Field Trainer for North West Ambulance Service and a Community First Responder – in the last year I know of three instances where people I’ve trained have directly saved a life through the delivery of high-quality first aid. In the same period I know four Mental Health First Aiders who have intervened and saved a life.
So, why would I write an article aimed at outdoor enthusiasts about this? Well, in my work both as an International and UK based Mountain Leader I’ve found that many of us regularly interact with people with mental health issues and I have personally helped people in immediate crisis on two occasions. We’ve also lost members of our community to suicide – unsurprising as it affects everyone.
I think the work, and volunteering, many of us do leads to a heightened level of emotional engagement with our clients. We need to form a trustbased bond quickly, often spending extended periods of time with participants and we’ll spend attentive time observing them. All these are factors that can offer us a level of insight that may well be unique. If you factor in the environment we do this in, the changed emotional state that clients may find themselves in, group dynamics to which we might be outsiders, the position of trust we often occupy – then we are potentially ideally placed to both notice and to intervene. And…it will make a difference.
Let’s address some myths…
The first place to start is by addressing common myths that often prevent people from taking action.;
Myth – talking to someone about suicide will put the idea into their head.
Fact – Asking someone directly about suicide lowers anxiety, opens up a dialogue, offers hope and reduces the risk of an impulsive act.
Myth – No-one can stop a suicide, it’s inevitable.
Fact – If people in a crisis get the help they need then they will probably never be suicidal again.
Myth – Only experts can prevent suicide.
Fact – Suicide prevention is possible by anyone – how often do we see loved ones, friends or figures of trust intervene. It’s the intervention, not who does it, that matters most.
Kelvyn James is the Founder of Wellness Walks, a Former Trustee of the Samaritans, a current Trustee of Mountain Training England and holds a masters degree in psychology.
How can we help if we’re worried that someone is at risk?
Starting a conversation
We can start a conversation. We can really really listen. We can ask the tough question; “Are you thinking of killing yourself?”
In a decade answering phones for the Samaritans I heard it done every which way, but it was always asked. Often the conversation moved on to other things, other ways to help, other forms of crisis. But the important step is that it was asked, and asked early on. The longer the question is left, often the harder it is to ask and, vitally, it can also get harder to answer.
It’s not a great ice-breaker and clearly it needs to be done sensitively, but there are some simple techniques that can help.
Tips to help start a conversation:
Find somewhere to talk where the person you’re talking to will have all of your focus and they’ll feel comfortable.
Think about what you’re going to say.
Ask them how they are feeling. And then listen. Really listen to what’s said. Watch them, be open and attentive, and most of all be non-judgemental. The issue that seems minor to you could be the most important thing in the world to someone in crisis, it may be the proverbial straw, it may not even be the root of their crisis – but it’s a conversational starting point.
Ask them if they are suicidal. It really does (in most cases) come this early in the process. You can ask directly: “Are you having suicidal thoughts?” or “Have you thought about ending your life?” But I often prefer to be more indirect; “It sounds like you’re having a really tough time. Has it ever got so bad that you’ve thought of ending it all?”
Listen to the answer. Give them as long as they need. Don’t challenge them, don’t dismiss them, and be prepared to revisit the question if they evade it.
Tell them that whatever it is, help is available. You are the proof of that – you can facilitate them accessing support. Take them to a phone, make the call for them – but try and get them engaged with the process of getting further support. There are literally hundreds of helplines in the UK, many very specialist but I carry a card in my wallet with 6 phone numbers on it that cover most immediate crisis. The Samaritans, MindInfoLine, Childline, The Mix, NHS111 & 999.
If I can’t get to immediate support, because I’m in the middle of a remote trek or just out of signal range, then I may consider asking them to make me a promise; “Will you promise me that you won’t do anything to harm yourself until we’ve tried to get you some help?” It’s a powerful tool and it lets a person in crisis know that you are there for them until help arrives. Obviously it should go without saying – be a person who always keeps their promises.
Like any other medical emergency – if you think there’s an immediate risk to the individual’s life then call 999. Call centres will have trained mental health personnel on duty, they’ll assess and respond based on the risk level – they can also start a referral process to more specialised help.
Remember CARE
Saving a life can be as simple as that: Telling someone that you CARE.
This phrase can help us remember the steps for mental health first aid, which we’ve talked about in this article:
C. Check for risk of suicide or harm.
A. Apply non-judgemental listening.
R. Reassure & facilitate help.
E. Encourage them to get help.
This article has been written as an introduction to mental health first aid for walk leaders and outdoor activity providers. It is not a replacement for full mental health first aid training.
Do you have strategies for managing mental health within your communities? We’d love to hear from you, let us know through the form at the bottom of the page.
Thank-you for reading this article. Kelvyn James is the Founder of Wellness Walks, a Former Trustee of the Samaritans, a current Trustee of Mountain Training England and holds a masters degree in psychology.
You can find out more head to wellnesswalks.org.uk.
Our thanks go to HF Holidays, who made the audio version of this article possible. HF Holidays is Britain's longest-running co-operative tour operator, with over 111 years' experience in organising walking and activity holidays worldwide. They connect like-minded people through shared outdoor experiences and have a community of 48,000 members who have a passion for the countryside. As a B Corp Certified business, HF Holidays is dedicated to sustainable travel and community-focused initiatives such as their Pathways Fund, which has been raising money to provide assisted holidays and preserve and protect the countryside.
All The Elements is a non-profit community of individuals increasing access and representation for systemically-excluded and underrepresented groups in the UK outdoors. We run events, offer one-on-one support, curate online resources, promote the work and successes of our community members, offer consultancy and more. You can find out more on our website, follow us on social media and subscribe to our Substack newsletter.
Things you can do next:
1) Make your own card to include in your wallet or first aid kit with numbers relevant for your community. The numbers Kelvyn uses are:
999 - To call if someone is in immediate risk or has hurt themselves
111 - To call if someone is seeking medical / clinical help
116 123 - Samaritans - 24 hours of every single day someone will answer the phone and will really listen to you
0300 123 3393 - MindInfoLine - a helpline for all mental health issues
0800 11 11 Childline - For children under the age of 16 to call
0808 808 4994 - The Mix - essential support for anyone under 25
2) Research local providers of Mental Health First Aid training and find a course that is appropriate for you and who you work with
3) Wellness Walks offers free and subsidised walks across the UK. You can find out more via their website wellnesswalks.org.uk.
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